I have never really been the type of person who takes pleasure in dating multiple men simultaneously. I learned at an early age I was never good at it and frankly found it exhausting. It’s hard enough keeping up with the demands of one man let alone two, three or more lol. Plus, I would start to feel guilty knowing I was leading someone on. However, I learned early on not everyone viewed dating like this and witnessed the outcomes of unfaithfulness my loved ones experienced. To avoid similar experiences I ensured to date men who like myself believed in commitment and monogamy. Sadly, I later found myself falling into a statistic that our society has morphed into normality, cheating, and was cheated on. Going though that experience taught me a lot. Okay, okay yes, I could have done without the heartache, but I am thankful for my growth. The experience of being cheated on has taught me a few things which I would like to share.
1. Trust Your Intuition
The day I found out my ex cheated on me I had a dream the prior night he cheated on me. I know talk about crazy! I remember jokingly telling my ex about the dream and we both laughed it off. Even then it still had not dawned on me the significance of this dream and it was not until later in the day when his behavior started to change did I start to get an unsettled feeling. I am not going to get into the details, but that same day I discovered he had cheated on me. To this day I believe God was the reason behind my dream and I thank him for that. I should have walked away from that relationship long before it got that far, but didn\’t want to give up. Anyway my loves just as God blessed us with free will he has blessed us with intuition. If something does not seem right it\’s probably because it isn’t. Trust your intuition.
2. It Is Okay to Express Your Emotions
Remember we are only human and it is okay, to an extent, to succumb to your emotions. Don’t allow others to dictate how you should handle your emotions. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to yell, yell. If you want to curse that man out, curse his ass out!!!
3. Don’t Let What Other People Say Get To You
Unfortunately, we live in a world where people love to gossip. There is nothing you can do about their actions, but you can work towards not surrounding yourself by these people or giving into the negative remakes. Remember the people who love you will be supportive of your situation and will offer words of encouragement opposed to shaming you. You owe no one an explanation.
4. Anyone Is Capable
When I confide in my friends about my ex cheating I was met with remakes, such as “if X cheated no one is safe” “it’s official all men ain’t shit” and many more remarks of bafflement. These comments were not out of the ordinary. I have heard women and men speak of how dating a less attractive partner provides a scenes of security. There seems to be this misconception that because someone might be deemed less attractive according to societies standards of beauty they are more likely to stay faithful. Shoot Jimmy Soul had a song about it, smh. Anyway I disagree with this. People cheat for various reasons and all people are capable regardless of their looks, religion, culture, etc.
5. Don’t Let It Change You
I’m sure we all know that one woman who turned into a man hating grouch after being cheated on or that man who was cheat on once and now is emotionally unavailable and fears commitment. Do not be that person. Do not let an ex-lover turn you into a bitter person fearful of loving again. Love is a beautiful thing and it would be a shame to miss your opportunity on finding the right person who will love you as God intended because you are harboring resentment toward an ex. Don’t miss out on your blessing ❤️ . Take the situation as a lesson learned. Remember my loves what does not kill us only makes us stronger.
Stay blessed. Remember, you are loved ❤️